கன்னியின் கனவில்...

மென்மையான காதல்,
அளவான நேசம்,
பண்பான புரிதல்,
லட்சிய குணம்,
எழுத்துக்களில் ஆர்வம்

இவை யாவும் கொண்டவனை
மணந்து கொள்ள தான் ஆசை

ஆனால், என் செய்ய!
நான் பாஞ்சாலி அல்லவே..

Singing in the Rain

Generally we sing when we're happy. I do too. I love Rain. When rain comes, my happiness increases. Soooooo, I tend to sing whenever there's rain! It's been raining for a whole day here. Plus, browsing Priti's blog showed me the way to post my songs! By 'my songs' here, I mean those I have sung (of course!). Maybe sometime in the future, I may write and tune my own songs (fingers crossed!). For now, I can only sing what others before me have sung, like the one below.


Nila Kaigiradhu

The Gift

It was their second wedding anniversary. Myra woke up to her husband's gentle nudging. "Happy Anniversary, Myra", he smiled down at her.

"Same to you, Lyan", she grinned sleepily.

"Come, get up. Come and see my anniversary gift", he pulled her to her feet.

He almost dragged her along the corridor to his lab at the other end of their house. "Lyan, slow down", she laughed breathlessly. But he ploughed on eagerly, not listening to her. They came to a stop at the door to his lab.

"Mrs.Lyan, I present to you", he threw open the door of the lab, "SWONIZON!!!".

Inside the lab, in the midst of all Lyan's strange appratuses stood a large obelisk. It was stragely shimmery and looked as if it was made of molten silver.

Myra caught her breath. "Oh its so beautiful. What is this?".

"This, My girl, is our dream come true!"

"Lyan, you don't say so! Have you done it? Really? Oh Lyan I'm so proud of you!".

Myra's husband was an enthusiastic scientist. Myra knew that he had been fascinated by the concept that many parallel universes exist at one point of time, and that he had been trying to achieve a way to travel through these universes.

"Myra I've done it! The Swonizon can travel through the universes!"

His feverish excitement had caught on to her as well. She pulled on his sleeve and tremblingly whispered, "Lets go for ride!"

"Wait a bit. I've got another gift for you!"

She turned to him in happy anticipation. He dragged her close and planted a resounding kiss on her lips. "Love you", he murmured. "mmmmm" was all she could mutter.

He then walked towards the machine holding her hand. He drew a pattern on the wall of the obelisk. It parted, revealing an opening wide enough to walk through. They walked in and the wall slid back smoothly. Lyan drew some patterns on the wall. Before she knew it, they were moving! Myra had the feeling that she was being pulled forward. She could feel each and every movement of every atom in her body.

After what seemed like two minutes, she felt back to normal. Lyan repeated his patterns and the wall started parting. Before they could fully open, Myra who was so eager to see the new world, stepped out pulling Lyan along. As they started to walk out of the obelisk, Lyan's hand scraped against the walls and at the next instant the walls had closed in on Lyan!

Myra turned in horror and yelled out "Lyan!". But it was of no use. The obelisk gave one final shimmer and zoomed out to a small dot. Absolute terror froze Myra to the spot.

After sometime she looked around, taking in her surroundings.
She was by a large tree which had some statues underneath. She did not know the country. She did not know the language. The only thing she knew was that it is the place she had last seen her Lyan and it is the place where she would wait for his return.

Years have passed. If you pass by that tree, you may see an ageless, dirty looking woman in torn clothes sitting under the tree, looking longingly at each passing vehicle, hoping that one of them will bring her Lyan back.

She sits there, with a torn cloth tied over her lips, holding in the one thing that her Lyan left her...the last kiss.




Author's Note: The incidents in the above story are of course a product of my imagination, but the woman is not. She's a real woman. She can be found in the area near the Nandambakkam bus stop. She will be either sitting inside the bus stop or under the big tree near the bus stop. The cloth tied over her lips is real too. That was the one thing that brought my attention to her. And the strangely haunting look in her eyes...ahh...that's real too.

Voices in my head

"Come on girl...You can do it."

"Oh yea right! Like I believe that."

"Man! He's cute!"

"What the f***???"

"Does she hate you? Why? Doesn't she like what you did? Why? What else could you have done? Could you have explained why you did it? Would she have listened? Is she worth the bother? Oh what the heck. Forget her. If she doesn't understand she's just not worth it!!!"

"Why me?"

"God please take him. Please. Please."

"Ooooh that was amazing!"

"God please make her see sense!"

"Do you have any idea how much I hate you?"

"Do you have any idea how much I like you?"

"If only ..."

"So what are you planning to do now?"

"Can you believe she did that?"

"What's the point?"

"Get out of my way you ass****"

"You are soooo good at this!"

"That's it baby! You've done it! Great going sweetheart!"

"Hope you know that what you're doing is absolutely wrong. It's frowned upon!"

"I just wish..."

"Why not?"

"Yes it is."

"No you won't"

"Can't wait to get the hell outta here"

Made to Order

Priti bade me to write something on a topic she gave me.
Here's to you prits! My small effort :-)


மனம் ஒரு மகாபாரதம்

அடுத்தவன் அழுதென்ன சிரித்தென்ன?
கண்டுகொள்ள நேரமின்றி

'என் கதையே பெரிய கதை'
சலித்துக் கொள்ளும் மனமே

ஆர்வமிருந்தால் படித்து விடலாம்
அடுத்தவர் மனதையும் எளிதாக

அங்குள் இருப்பது வெறும் கதையல்ல
சுவையான, திகட்டாத காவியம்.

இயற்கை

முடிவில்லா பாதை போல் எதிர்கால எண்ணங்கள்,
நட்சத்திர குவியலாய் ஆசைக் கனவுகள்,
பார்க்கும் குழந்தையின் சின்னக் கண்களில்
எனக்கு மட்டுமே தெரியும் தண்ணிலவு,
நீந்தி விளையாட எண்ண அலைகள்,
மூழ்கி முத்துக்கள் எடுக்க ஆழ் மனம்,
சுடும் சொற்களால் வறண்ட நெஞ்சம்,
கோபம் கொண்டு கொதிக்கும் உள்ளம்,
நட்பு தந்த பசுமையான நினைவுகள்,
சுற்றம் தந்த நெடிந்துயர் பெருமை,
ஆசையில் பொழியும் பாச மழை,
பொங்கி பெருகும் ஆனந்த வெள்ளம்,
அன்பு பீரிடும் அருவி இதயம்,
நாள் தவறாது உதிக்கும் பசி,
மனதின் மையத்தில் ஓர் வெற்றிடம்,

இயற்கை - எனக்குள்ளும், என்னைச் சுற்றியும்.

இழப்பு

நினைத்ததை சொல்ல
உரத்துச் சிரிக்க
தேம்பி அழ
சொல்லாமல் அறிய
யாரும் இல்லாத போது
தோள் கொடுத்த தோழமை.
அந்நட்பில் தனிமை இழந்தேன்

சில்லென்ற மாலையில்
அழகான கடற்கரையில்
இளங்காற்று வருடுகையில்
மனம் விட்டு பேசுகையில்
உன் ஆழமான புரிதலில்
அந்நட்பில் கவலை இழந்தேன்

இழந்தவை எத்தனையோ.
கண்டறிந்தது ஒன்று.

இழப்பு - இனிமை தான்.

Hindsight

It was her favorite pastime. Reading. She always found it so exciting. It felt like people from the days of yore were conversing with her through those printed pages.
One such book was holding her enthralled. Her eyes flew over the lines, taking in every word, '...on hindsight, I realise that...'

"Hindsight? What can that mean?", while she was looking it up in her trusty dictionary, her agile mind was busy offering its own meanings. "Maybe it's looking at what's behind. Or maybe it's looking through the behind. Oh what nonsense am I talking? Here it is. Dictionary says 'Hindsight n. - recognition of the realities, possibilities, or requirements of a situation, event, decision etc., after its occurrence.' So that's hindsight huh? Well."

Back to reading it was. But there was a quitely nagging thought at the back of her mind - 'Looking through the behind? Why on earth would I get such an idea?'

It was while she was lying awake at night after switching off the lights, that the old story she had read came to her mind. "If that man can look through closed eyes, why can't I look through the back of my head?". The idea took her fancy strongly. She got up, rummaged her bookshelf for that book. "Aha, there you are", she read the story again giving special importance to the measures the hero of the story takes to see through his closed eyes. He had spent years in the effort.
"Can I make the story come true?", she wondered. "Oh, go sleep you idiot", she chided herself, "This is a not a story book. It's your real life. Stuff like these don't happen in real life"

The idea persisted. She could not make it go away. She started practising the same methods. She put a candle behind her and tried to see the flame while closing her eyes. Though she could easily imagine it she could not see it. Everyday, she used to sit for a couple of hours and try.
"Oh I give up", she was exasperated. "It's been three whole months and I see not a thing".

But she was vaguely familiar of an impression of the flame when she closed her eyes. "Am I seeing it or imagining it as usual? Well it won't hurt me to try a li'l longer".

Stronger and stronger became the image, until one day when she screwed up her eyes tight, she saw an orangish oval. "Is that the flame?", She was excited. And lost her concentration. The image vanished.

Months sped by. She had used up more candles than a church. "Last day today. I give up if I don't see", she decided. She shut her eyes tight and started concentrating. The orangish blur slowly began to take shape. In a few minutes, it was the flame!!! She could even discern the blue part of the flame.

From that it was but a step to see other less brighter things. Slowly but steadily she practiced until one day her tremulous idea became real. She could see through the back of her head! She had developed a 'hindsight' - true to its literal meaning! But she revealed the secret to none but a trusted few of her cronies. Her extraordinary ability helped her become what she is today - an ultra successful undercover agent.

Even now, as she walks away from me after reading the above, what I have written about her, she knows that I'm smiling at her. I wave at her and she waves back....without turning.

Of Shares and Bonds

I had taken the day off from work. The morning passed by in front of the TV and with my book. Towards evening when I was looking for something to do, I was delighted by a message from my buddy, "Hey we're coming to your place now. Lets go shopping!".

Alrity! I was all geared up. Any time spent with my best buds was always fun. Since our respective lives now had other priorities, the time we three spent together had reduced considerably. Any planning that we do to get together almost always ended in a flop show.
It was impromptu outings like these that spelled F-U-N!

An evening of shopping followed by an absolutely scrumptious dinner at Pasta Fresca - A dinner peppered with animated conversations and shared confidences - The evening had all the ingredients that would make a Girls' Day Out all the more enchanting!

Life is beautiful when it's shared with best friends!

Guilty

A hot morning. Heavy traffic. You know how it is. You are impatient. But you have to move in inches. Further down the road, the traffic cleared a bit. I was whizzing past when I saw a guy on the road side telling two others "Hit the brain, I think", pointing behind him and then pointing to his head. That slowed me down. This isn't a normal conversation.

A few feet from them, I saw a man being helped to sit by two others. One of them was patting the man's cheeks saying "it's nothing sir. it's nothing. Sit up". The other was holding the man by his armpits.

The man himself was bleeding from his head. I could see bloody skin peeled off from the top of his head. His hair was matted with the blood. The blood had run down his neck and his shirt was wet with it. What really bothered me were his eyes. He had a wild, bewildered look in them. He looked as if he did not believe it. As if he didn't know what's happening around him.

I passed on.

I did. I then realised to my consternation that I did not stop and offer help. I was in a two wheeler. I accused myself of not offering to take him to the hospital.
I tried to appease my conscience saying that the five guys would take ample care of him. I did not need to barge in. But conscience is a tricky friend. It still bothers me that I did not stop.

Did I do the right thing?

The Girl and The Machine

Rewind to a coupla years back.
"I'm planning to buy a two-wheeler", I told the Pater.
The mercury hit the top. "My daughter on a scooter? On these terrible roads? I absolutely forbid it! I won't have you breaking any bones!" (He meant others' bones of course!)
Right-o! Another dream down the drain. But, the spark wasn't completely extinguished.

Fast forward to the present.
My unc came up to me, "I can't use my bike because of my operation. Do you wanna take it to office or something?"
Do I??!!
Though he was apprehensive about the Pater's reaction, I convinced him with my mother's golden words - 'What they don't know can't hurt them'.

I was all set to go. With his helmet (which I believe he got as a wedding gift - 40 years ago) on my head, like a good girl I went straight to office. I was already late and had to hurry. So I took the short straight path. After an usual day, I was eager to start home, with a stop on the way for some shopping.

With my jacket on, without the hindrance of that helmet (I know, I know, breaking rules and all that - but the wind rushing through you - what an exhilarating feeling! (Plus my sense of fashion (ahem!) prevented me from wearing that scrap metal (I've got to stop here before I put up any more parentheses))), I started my journey.

It was my dream to take a bike and explore hitherto unknown streets in my town. I was so excited that I was gonna live my dream! I started with taking any and all side streets that took my fancy. I avoided known main roads. I explored my area to my heart's content. I must admit, I did hit upon numerous dead ends and no-entries. I went in circles. The journey which should normally take me about an hour took me nearly one and a half. But did I care? Oh no!
What did those matter when compared to the Liberation that I felt?